When you fall asleep at night and drift away into the 'here' and 'there' of where the mind takes you, sometimes you travel into togetherness. last night, I dreamed of Robert Pattinson (the sex machine from Twilight and my fantasies), and Sam Trammell (Sam, from HBO's True Blood). This tells me two things: I watch too many vampy things these days, and also that I am single. or lonely. Or craving 'the sex'. Im not sure which one of those it isn't, but I do know that when you sleep until 10am on a Saturday morning while a toddler and a seven year old are waiting to start the weekend, isn't a good sign.
In my dream, Sam was akward, annoying and in my face - much like how I can find him portrayed on True Blood. There was a boring, silly girl in my dream as well, who wanted the attention of Rob. Rob who was just Rob. In my dream I knew he was Rob Pattinson and he knew I was a single mother in college. He knew where I lived and what I was really like, and he chose to be me with me anyway. Sounds nice right?
wrong. I mean right. Right for the dream but a horribly upsetting reality to wake up to without that night in shining teeth to whisk me away.
I was fine yesterday and the day before and the day before that. Life has its general ups and downs and Im sure with Aunt Flo taking a smoke break before she heads around the corner to my neck of the woods, Im headed on a "down" slope. There are some lingering issues that bother me and that I need to work out, but nothing that ruined my day(s). This f*cking dream ruined my Saturday.
If it weren't for that dream, for the 9 hours of (off and on) sleep I got, for the 9 hours of blissful togetherness that felt very real - very lucid, I would not be sitting here pissed that I am alone. I'm upset that I obviously miss it much more than I care to realize and that this stupid fucking dream has illustrated my very need to connect with another grown individual on a romantic level. Err, romantic, yeah, that's it. It sucks.
I keep trying to remind myself that I have no room for dating even if I wanted to, but it's not helping. Ho hum.
1 talking to's:
Have I told you lately that I love you? Because I do, you know... Tons and tons. I know it's not quite the ummm...type of love you're missing right now, but there you have it. And your day will come, sugah, you know that. You're much too much of a rocking person to NOT get everything you want/need. But until that day, if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, you know I'll be there for you :)
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